| | With the recent addition of sister/brother web engines Momaroo and Revelife, Xanga has created a new outlet devoted entirely for a specific audience.
For those of you who don't know, Revelife (while sounding like an orgy hook-up site you'd find on Craigslist) is for Christian users and Momaroo (despite sounding like pregnant kangaroo fetish central) is for mothers and it's all very targeted. Revelife users can comment on Xangans, Xangans can comment on Momaroo, and we're still one big huggy wuggy happy family of bloggers smiling at each other over a facade of digital segregation.
While I'm all for booting the psycho Christ-fuckers and intolerable overdose of lonely sweet-momma single women off of Xanga and into a far off realm where I don't have to see any of their backgrounds involving teddy bears or enormous crosses stumbling around the blogosphere. Goody goody gumdrops. I think we've all been getting pretty fucking tired of the sudden influx of them over the past couple of years...swinging their weight around like they own the joint, goddamn preggers and Christers with their..."religion" and "fetuses" and...where was I going? Oh, right.
But not to fear! Has your outlet of choice not had a separate system installed? Xanga will get on that soon!
There will be a system for serial killers, devoted entirely to updates done in rambling psychopathic style and videoblogs of evisceration! A system for on the run gangsta-ass niggaz where they can update from their cell phone about the po-po (though you'd have to be careful about the term segregation in that context, them darkies is still all a-sensitive about it) and make quick online booty calls! A system for Badboydoomdaddy so he can talk to himself about how crazy and hateful he is in whatever time zone be believes it to be! A system for fat chicks so they can update about...pie, I guess. Or whatever it is that makes the fat chick tick. And on the other side of the spectrum, a system for all those calorie counting rail-spike anorexics so they can all comment each other on how being great thin feels before they die from malnutrition! A system for construction users who think HTML is a sandwich! A system for disgruntled Catholics who think that the Vatican II was just another stupid summer blockbuster sequel! A system for people who do nothing but post from webcomics and song lyrics because they're desperately unoriginal! A system for that one guy who's the token minority in his group of friends so he automatically assumes he's funny! A system for pseudo-anarchists to quote Fight Club as often as possible to prove just how nonconformist they are! Systems for chainsmokers because they're already being marginalized and systems for orphans with disabilities just so we can all go laugh at them. LAUGH AT THEIR PAIN. Because other people's pain is at the pinnacle of humor when it's totally meaningless and unfair. Systems for trouble-starting kike trolls and systems for people who go friends lock at the drop of a hat out of egotistical paranoia! Systems for angry college drunken bastards and systems for unlaid perverts obviously seeking online ass! Systems for celebrities who have gone far past their prime and systems for nerds pretending to be comic book characters or Harry Potter roleplayers because every time I see one of those on my footprints I get the fucking creeps ahoy. And a system for Ed Koch himself, blogging about how New York City is...the heart of rock and roll, the heart of the beat. With special guest updates from Huey Lewis.
With more targeting going on than a sniper's wet dream, eventually Xanga can sub-specialize for all us and we can become on big happy family together again, as long as together means on our own side of the line and successfully branded inside our own blogging niche and we only really care about people with the same blog-net address as us!
Now let's have a hug. |
| | Posted 6/6/2008 11:15 PM - 1533 Views - 274 eProps - 165 comments
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